Dancing with the Stars and the GOP

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It’s no secret that Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) loads their pot each season with forgotten, irrelevant, despised, mediocre or just plain dull individuals, all in an attempt to boost their ratings and those of the celebs. Gazing into the wonderment of my crystal ball I proudly announce the slate of contestants for next year’s side show…oops, I mean television show. My bad.

Yes, DWTS viewing audience brace yourselves because you are going to be in for an entertaining song and dance 2012 season that…well…you haven’t seen since the GOP debates. I eagerly look forward to embracing the foibles of the upcoming cast members, knowing in advance the controversies, scandals, missteps and falls from grace that are surely to occur. It is as if famed astrologer Jean Dixon has taken over my mind as I see clearly into the future. Accordingly, I am pleased to offer my predictions for DWTS 2012.

Unfortunately for Herman Cain, he was not able to get past the interviewing process. First he bought free Godfather pizzas for only the female employees, then offered rent free apartments to several of them, groped a few more, tried to set up another in business and when confronted simply said, “Hey, we’re just friends.” Mr. Cain was escorted off premises screaming, “NINE, NINE, NINE.” He has since shuffled off into oblivion.

Rick Perry became the first contestant voted off DWTS. Although costumed in a lovely white ruffled and lace shirt, his chest was bloated and his movements rather rigid. It was if someone had stuck a steel rod up his derriere, if you know what I mean. Anyway, even though the blouse was nice, Mr. Perry forgot the third dance step and he is now back in Texas, doing whatever it is Texans do in Texas.

Ron Paul, I’m sad to say, walked off the show because he claimed too many regulations and organization involved for his liking.  Mr. Paul is now president of the John Birch Society.

Rick Santorum wasn’t able to last very long on DWTS either. Being a man of strong moral values he refused any body contact with his female handler. Cough, cough. Rick repeatedly refused to wear leotards, proclaiming they showed too much of his “package,” if you catch my drift. Mr. Santorum is now at Olan Mills capturing the mechanical Eric Cantor canned smile.

Newt Gingrich was also voted off the acclaimed TV show for a variety of reasons. “Give Newt the boot,” was the roar of the audience due to a lackluster performance. Although, Newt felt he was far more talented than any other dancers, the fact he resembled a yard gnome in his costumes, simply gave too many people the creeps. One problem for the Newtster was the fact his people forgot to tell others to watch and vote for him. Epic fail on his part for sure. Upon exiting the show Mr. and Mrs. Gingrich took a private jet to New York City where he promptly bought his wife a $1 million sapphire and diamond necklace at Tiffany’s.

Michele Bachmann was able to last to the very end of DWTS, yet she still didn’t take home the coveted 1st place award. Big hair and a petite body with pearly white teeth, certainly made Michele the more attractive of contestants. However, claiming God was guiding her every step of the way, turned off to many voters on the show. Another handicap for her was fighting off the mental image of the night she caught her husband in the “set, hike” position with Bruce the hairstylist. Mrs. and Mr. Bachmann are now back at their own clinic, gleefully counseling each other on the evils of homosexuality. Oh those two silly savages.

Mitt Romney proudly proclaimed victory as the 2012 DWTS winner. It’s no secret; Mitt was the better looking of all the other dancers. Personally, I think it was the red flamingo suit, with feathered cap that cinched his win and the fact that no one on the show could change costumes quite as fast as Mitt. After winning, Mr. Romney brought his team into ABC and under a hostile takeover, bought all of their shares and fired half the staff. Now how is that for wealth…oh, oh…I mean job creation?

So there you have it. The egos will be as enormous as the lies, half truths, affairs, and mega wealth of the losers in the 2012 presidential election who opted for just one more chance of fame on DWS. Enjoy the show!

Written By: Dennis L. Page

Are We a Nation Of Morons?

I can’t take the stupidity anymore. Ignorance is rampant and for crying out loud it is happening in the country I love. Where is the sanity in politics today? People are fawning over damn near illiterate candidates and it makes my stomach turn ad nauseam. Remember, when reading this article, the nuts and bolts are the words of other people and not my own.

 

Let’s start my rant with none other than Herman Cain. “Michele Bachmann… I’m not going to say it. I’m not going to say it…. Tutti-frutti. I know I’m going to get in trouble!” “The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is…. Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance…. A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.” “I’m ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions and they’re already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say, ‘How’s that going to create one job?”

 

Rick Perry: “Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of — against the Second Amendment before he was for the Second Amendment? Was it — was before — he was before the social programs from the standpoint of — he was for standing up for Roe v. Wade before he was against first — Roe v. Wade?” “I don’t think the federal government has a role in your children’s education.” “I will tell you: It’s three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see. … OK. So Commerce, Education and the — … The third agency of government I would — I would do away with the Education, the … Commerce and — let’s see — I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”

 

Michele Bachmann: “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.” “Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, ‘Be submissive wives; you are to be submissive to your husbands.” “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?” “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

 

Rick Santorum: “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” “The most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.” “Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?”  “My feeling is, well, if it’s my money, I have a right to judge.”

 

Ron Paul: “Believe me, the next step is a currency crisis because there will be a rejection of the dollar, the rejection of the dollar is a big, big event, and then your personal liberties are going to be severely threatened.” “Capitalism should not be condemned, since we haven’t had capitalism.”  “Of course I’ve already taken a very modest position on the monetary system, I do take the position that we should just end the Fed.” “Our country’s founders cherished liberty, not democracy.” “ You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let’s just get rid of all the drug laws.”

 

John Huntsman:  Quite frankly, I don’t have any inane quotes from this candidate.

 

Newt Gingrich: “I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much.” “If the Soviet empire still existed, I’d be terrified. The fact is, we can afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.” “The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.” “I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power.” “Gingrich – Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces.” “We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto.” “It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid…These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school.”

 

Mitt Romney: “I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.” “We should double Guantanamo!” “I’m happy to learn that after I speak you’re going to hear from Ann Coulter. That’s a good thing. I think it’s important to get the views of moderates.” “Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.” “I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.”

 

Well, there you have it in a nutshell. The above are the words of your 2012 GOP candidates. Good luck in making your picks in the up coming election and remember, all I did was quote those who are running. Now it is your turn to figure this whole mess out.

 

Dennis L. Page

Fact Check: Keystone XL Would Ship Foreign Oil To Foreign Lands

pOur guest blogger is Anthony Swift, policy analyst for the Natural Resources Defense Council. One of the most important facts that is missing in the national debate surrounding the proposed Keystone XL tar sands pipeline is this — Keystone XL will not bring any more oil into the United State for decades to come. Canada […]/p

via Fact Check: Keystone XL Would Ship Foreign Oil To Foreign Lands.

We’re So Lucky

“We’re so lucky,” my wife reminds me on a daily basis. She lives in an attitude of gratitude and has shown me how to be more appreciative of the gifts around that I normally took for granted. I am blessed to walk in her shinning light. For you see, my wife is the beacon that steered a lost ship to the safety of the harbor.

 

While there are many people, places and things I am truly grateful for, my newest and most favorite was the day I haphazardly fell upon ViewsHound. How did I get so lucky to find such a wonderful writing venue? Like the lost ship described above, I had floundered for years in a sea of various writing sites, never really being comfortable with any of them. Some promised much more than they could deliver, while others simply lack decorum, skillful authors, and quite honestly, a lazy atmosphere of quantity content versus quality in a halfhearted attempt to gain views and search engine optimization. My writing vessel was taking on water and the bilge pump was clogged with plagiarism. Then there is ViewsHound. This is a site to be praised and one to be exceptionally proud to call my new home. The writing environment here is exceptional as are the wonderfully expressive authors and yes, equally expressive comments. We’re so lucky to all be gathered here together.

 

The parched throat of an author is quenched with the recognition of the work they have given their readers. I am the lucky recipient of being exposed to so many glorious, descriptive, time sensitive, sad, humorous and feel good stories. Many days, after drinking in the words from souls whom I’ve never met, I am literally left sitting in a daze with my head spinning from the potpourri of emotions which have been told so eloquently. Many people didn’t write seriously for most of their lives. Others have written daily journals for as long as they can remember. Then there are those who have written a few stories here and there and all of a sudden it is as if  Houdini himself waved his magic wand…poof…the writer magically pulls the rabbit out of their creative hat and they end up handing the viewer a prized piece of literature.

 

To me, writing with the ability of formulating a common thread of thought, along with a process of events is an art form. Not only do I appreciate the art of words and stories, I too get one kick in the pants out of telling my own tales of hope, laughter, love and even woe. It is the reader and responder that fill my sails with the soft breeze to glide my sailboat across the gentle waters, which in turn, spurs me on to newer adventures. By and large our ViewsHound community is one of encouragement and motivation. We have a tendency here to make others think and to choose their remarks tactfully and thoughtfully, ever vigilant of the feelings the author has tried to convey. I think, by and large we are a courteous group because we value what is at our perspective doorsteps and none of us wants to pull the “Welcome mat” away. I’m reminded of my mother saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Admittedly, there are certain topics that strike a nerve or an outrage in me and try as I might to reply to these, sometimes I just have to click the back arrow and move on. That’s okay though due to the 99.9% more I will enjoy reading. This is such a diverse group that there is something for everyone and for that we are all lucky.

 

The marina of authors is jammed with inflatable rafts, rowboats, sailboats, speed boats and cabin cruisers and our common bond is the ebb and flow of experiences and talent shown to us on a daily basis. Thank you writers and thank you ViewsHound. May everyone have a healthy, prosperous, happy and creative New Year and remember one thing…”We are so lucky!”