Well, we’ve seen the candidates and we’ve heard their self promoting speeches and thankfully, we’ve watched many drop by the wayside. Now the field of stellar, high moral, right thinking, and neoconservative contenders has been narrowed to four real honest to goodness Americans.
Gone from the race for president, but not forgotten are characters like the following:
Herman Cain. “Michele Bachmann… I’m not going to say it. I’m not going to say it…. Tutti-frutti. I know I’m going to get in trouble!” “The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is…. Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance…. A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.” “I’m ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions and they’re already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say, you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say, ‘How’s that going to create one job?”
Rick Perry: “Is it the Mitt Romney that was on the side of — against the Second Amendment before he was for the Second Amendment? Was it — was before — he was before the social programs from the standpoint of — he was for standing up for Roe v. Wade before he was against first — Roe v. Wade?” “I don’t think the federal government has a role in your children’s education.” “I will tell you: It’s three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the — what’s the third one there? Let’s see. … OK. So Commerce, Education and the — … The third agency of government I would — I would do away with the Education, the … Commerce and — let’s see — I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
Michele Bachmann: “I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.” “Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, ‘Be submissive wives; you are to be submissive to your husbands.” “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?” “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”
Okay, exhale everyone because at least those named above are off the ballot, but when you look at what we’re left with it becomes even scarier and creepier than one can even imagine.
Ron Paul: “Believe me, the next step is a currency crisis because there will be a rejection of the dollar, the rejection of the dollar is a big, big event, and then your personal liberties are going to be severely threatened.” “Capitalism should not be condemned, since we haven’t had capitalism.” “Of course I’ve already taken a very modest position on the monetary system, I do take the position that we should just end the Fed.” “Our country’s founders cherished liberty, not democracy.” “ You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let’s just get rid of all the drug laws.” Wow, we could actually have legalized drugs and no government to enforce any laws. How cool is that man?
Rick Santorum: “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” “The most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.” “Isn’t that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?” “My feeling is, well, if it’s my money, I have a right to judge.” Okay, to recap, if you’re gay, too bad and if you want or need an abortion, too bad and finally, if you’re poor too bad because if Ricky has the money then he has the right to judge. Holy moral fiber Wonder Woman there goes your rights down the drain.
Newt Gingrich: “I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much.” “If the Soviet empire still existed, I’d be terrified. The fact is, we can afford a fairly ignorant presidency now.” “The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.” “I have enormous personal ambition. I want to shift the entire planet. And I’m doing it. I am now a famous person. I represent real power.” “Gingrich – Primary mission, Advocate of civilization, Definer of civilization, Teacher of the rules of civilization, Leader of the civilizing forces.” “We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto.” “It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid…These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school.” Newt has said he would appoint Sarah Palin (Yup, you heard it right) to a high level cabinet post if he was elected president. Maybe it should be Ambassador to Russia so her commute will be close to her back porch. Newt also has said any government employee that doesn’t agree with his line of thinking should be fired. Oh, oh, I guess those married and believing in fidelity better start looking for other work.
Mitt Romney: “I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.” “We should double Guantanamo!” “I’m happy to learn that after I speak you’re going to hear from Ann Coulter. That’s a good thing. I think it’s important to get the views of moderates.” “Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.” “I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” Mitt, Mitt, Mitt me thinks you are so out of touch with the people you theoretically want to rule in your Kingdom you just don’t get it. Do you really, honestly, sincerely, believe the President of the United States of America should have his wealth hidden in off shore accounts? How patriotic is it when your own money is kept out of the country you supposedly love?
So, without mincing words and for the most part simply quoting the candidates at large, I present the roster of 2012 GOP presidential wannabes. Good luck America!
Written By: Dennis L. Page